I don’t even know what all to say.  I’m blown away that this happened to me tonight.  This potentially is one of the first days I have felt peace since being here! 
 
1 day shy of 2 weeks, God spoke to me asking me to let go of my dreams for my future and to be present with Him.  See, this place here-Draganesti-Olt has a special place in my heart, but I believe that there’s a darkness over this place that I need to speak into.  With holding onto these dreams, my mind was focused on that, instead of Romania.  It was causing me loss of sleep and honestly, I was becoming annoyed and frustrated and the angry version of Rachel Martin.  I know this was not a person God was calling me to be.  Frankly, what God has been doing in my heart in the last month and half has been difficult to go through.  I’m going to be honest here and say I didn’t want to go through it, because it was hard and challenging and much easier to be distracted and walk in work.  However, 2 things happened. #1:  The World Race teams are here.  They are wonderful and I can’t say thank you enough to God for bringing them here for their service, but also their encouragement.  God knew I needed these people at exactly the right time.  #2: Today-The Racers asked me if I wanted to go with them on their day off and have fun at Dracula’s Castle.  As much fun as that sounded, I couldn’t do it.  I knew I needed to have a day-off to spend with my Lover.  To share my burdens and my pain with Him. 
What started out as a normal frustrated morning of refinement turned into day where I could only listen to Spanish music.  Nothing was keeping my attention like this music.  For all of you from my squad “Creo en Ti” was what kept playing over and over in my mind (and YouTube).  Creo en Ti is a song that I sang for the last 2 months of my Race and has become what reminded me of my Central America, specifically Nicaragua. 
 
These are the lyrics first in Spanish and then English:
 
Quiero levantar mis manos (I want to lift my hands)
maravilloso jesus, milagroso Señor (Marvelous Jesus, Miraculous God)
llena este lugar de tu presencia (fill this place with your presence)
y has descender tu poder a los que estamos aqui (and you would send your power on us here)
//creo en ti jesus, y en lo que haras en mi// (I believe in you, Jesus, and in what you are doing in me)
en mi…. en mi (in me, …in me)

CORO 
Recibe (receive)
toda la gloria (all of the glory)
toda la honra (all of the honor)
precioso hijo de Dios (precious Son of God)

 
I know these lyrics sound plain and simple, but there’s something about these words that just make sense in this time.  I didn’t want refinement.  I thought I came over here to serve and not to rest, but God had different plans for me.  He wanted me to know what it looked like to rest in Him. 
 
Fast forward to 4 o’clock.  (5 hours ago) I was talking with a friend who is currently working at Adventures in Missions about possible jobs after Romania.  So, I actually went to see what jobs are available, but I didn’t get that far, because I saw this video (below) of the ministry I worked with in Nicaragua.  I have only told a few people this but I fell in love with Nicaragua.  I don’t get it, because that was my last month of ministry.  I did not expect to fall in love with my last month of ministry, but the community is what I have always pictured.  So, I knew I needed to go in prayer before the Lord.  But before I could do that, I was talking with another friend and it was literally 5 seconds after I told her about Nicaragua that she said she had to share something with me.  These were her words. 
 
He loves us and places these desires on our hearts for a reason. 
Rachel, God has already said YES to you about this. Look for him to fullfill it, listen to him when he tells you how to fullfill it, and keep saying that it will come to pass because God has already said YES 🙂From rachelmartin.theworldrace.org 
 
And yet, a little bit later…
He WANTS you to ask… God will never get tired, get a head ache, feel overwhelmed, etc because we ask him for big things. 🙂From rachelmartin.theworldrace.org ASK, ASK , ASK and ASK again… ask him until He is like “RACHEL…. I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT…” lol. I am fully confident that God likes to be annoyed with us when we ask for desires that will glorify HIM 😀From rachelmartin.theworldrace.org
 
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU GOD!  I can’t fully express what is going on right now at all.  There’s some sort of peace happening where I don’t really know how to reveal it all to you, but Canto Nuevo, I’ll see you someday.  Hopefully sooner than later and I don’t know for how long, but you have stolen my heart.  Dearest Vega family, you said to Marian and I that you love us and would expect nothing less than to see us return.  Well, I’m coming…just don’t know when.
 
As far as Romania goes, I can focus on Romania, because I know that Nicaragua is coming up.  As strange as that sounds, I will be able to be present here just like I was after I surrendered Romania right before Nicaragua. 
 
I know I look like a CRAZY JESUS FOOL, but I don’t care anymore.